I'm Getting Old

I realized I am getting older. I realized this over the past few years, and most recently this week. Here are some reasons:
1. This comes out of your mouth "It has to be raining today, as my injured ankle hurts".
2. Can you please pass the tums.
3. Your husband will turn 33, and he didn't realize it.
4. When you are riding in the car with your husband, he passes the place you are supposed to go. 5. You do not go out at night.
6. You take sleeping meds.
7. Wheel of Fortune looks good.
8. You like eating fruit.
9. You buy a bird sound book.
10. You like going to the book store.
11. You put a pillow on your back when you are sitting at your desk to work.
12. You give almost all of your uncomfortable shoes away to Goodwill, and are happy to have low comfortable shoes instead of high spiky ones.
13. People you know are getting so old looking.
14. Kids you babysat for are getting married.
15. Your sister is having babies left and right.
16. Your kids are smarter than you are.
17. You like driving slow because you do not have anywhere to go.
18. You look for everything there is free and love it. Free samples in the grocery store, free balloons, free stickers, free cookies etc.
19. You wear clothes with holes in them and love doing it.
20. You have many items that you are holding onto for the "rainy day" that never comes.

Anyway, I felt so old this week. We went to a Jimmy Buffett concert. We thought it would be so cool to go to one. Well, it was a mix of the really young (drunk, vomiting, peeing everywhere, falling everywhere, ashing their cigarettes on my jacket, walking over you, spilling beer on you, naked) and very old (hippy, drunk too old women and men, bad outfits, too drunk look like your mother or grandmother slurring redneck) people. We were stuck in the middle of these two groups as the preppy 30ish people that like steel drums and tropical sounds that we grew up with. OBVIOUSLY we were not ready for this Jimmy Buffett concert!
First off, we decided to tailgate starting at 3. I assumed there would be a nice (well sorta didn't think this one out) porta john. Not here! My girlfriend brought our little roll of nice toilet paper, thinking we would use it in the porta john i guess. NO not here. There was a classy little tree line on the side of the parking lot. There was a large b-line going to the woods! When I say woods, it was a little line of trees blocking from the parking lot, and then WIDE OPEN little twigs that had NO leaves on them. Me and my girlfriend started walking there (after I held it as long as I could, and then some). We had our little wrapped toilet paper in our pockets to be as sanitary as possible in this circumstance.

When I got up to the line of people everywhere going in and out of the trees, I FROZE. I had only had a few Coronas. NOT THAT Many to be doing THIS! Peeing in the woods IN FRONT of people!! What!? How much did we make? How much did we pay to go to this concert? How old are we, and most importantly I AM NOT THIS DRUNK to do this!!!

So after we stared at the people coming in and out, we heard some lady yell to us "the girls come over here". Oh, some toothless stranger to the rescue! There was some organization to this craziness. So me and my girlfriend go prancing through the brush to the WIDE open pee zone where we see other squatters naked butts and all. I just kept saying "I am too old for this, I am not in college anymore, I can't believe I am doing this, I am not this drunk". Well I did it. I didn't like it. My friend Peed on her jeans. Now I was telling her as she was beside me peeing.. How much money do you make a year that you have to pee in the woods!? She wouldn't stop peeing either. Then some guy comes in the "girls only" side of the woods, and we both pull up the pants as quickly as possible. THEN WE ARE so MAD that we forgot to use our nicely clean toilet paper in our pockets. What were we thinking!? I was so upset.

Nothing a few Coronas couldn't fix. But this time, I knew there was no going back to the woods. Hey, I'm too old for that!

Anyway, we made it into the concert, spread out our nice blanket, and prepared for the show. I expected mildly chaos and fun times. We didn't recognize the majority of the songs that he played, he was very much older than we remembered, he kept talking about things in order to carry into another song, and used a laser pointer to point on a map behind him. BORING! People were leaving, people were complaining how they wanted their money back. Boring.

I kept thinking...I peed in the woods for this! :)