WHAT AM I STILL DOING AWAKE!?

I find the most random things to do when I procrastinate about going to bed. Tonight I helped my sister move into her new apartment. What was I thinking to go shopping late at night. I swear you think the weirdos were out in the day, you haven't seen anything until you go shopping at the "MEGA store" late at night.

I got behind some lady that purchased like 7 different bras and tons of other items. WHO BUYS 7 bras at once!? I thought her crap would never stop ringing up.

I guess it is hard for people to work late, because out of the 20 zillion check out lines, there were only 2 opened. I decided to pop open a magazine while I waited. You can't imagine how much crap this lady had to buy in front of me.

I am not lying...I read the WHOLE People magazine from cover to cover. I was the 2nd person in line but it took FOREVER.

Ok, so I am reading my magazine in my own little world waiting and waiting and waiting, and suddenly I hear people saying "mam", Mam" "mam, and look up to see everyone looking at me. I am like what the hell? Just check out and get on with it.

The lady told me that I was now responsible to tell people that I was the last person that she was going to checkout, and that I had to be responsible for putting up the "LANE CLOSED" sign. She gave it to me to hold onto and inform other people that I was the last person and they were SOL.

Now I mentioned that there were only 2 lanes opened right? AND that there were freaks out at night, AND that my lane was closing. RIGHT? SO that meant that only 1 lane was opened, it was jammed pack full of people, and it was also at the other end of the 20 zillion lanes.

I was kinda pissed off because 1. I had to wait so long, and 2. I was now responsible for telling other tired pissed off people, sorry but this lane's closed and they had to walk 1/2 a mile to the other long line of people.

I thought that I could be left alone to read my magazine while I calmly checked out. NO, I was now the Walmart police.

BELIEVE me, you can't imagine how people look at you and get so fired up when you tell them that "Sorry you have to go to the other line". And they say "where?" and I say "down there somewhere".

To make things worse, I go so involved in the magazine reading, I totally forgot my "responsibility", and people lined up behind me.

I AGAIN was told "excuse me M'am", don't forget the sign. I was like "CRAP" here we go again.

People that lined up behind me:
1. Tye dye shirt guy that had no hair on his legs
2. Broken foot guy that had to hobble down the isle to the other lane
3. Cane guy: A man that used a cane. I am not poking fun, but I swear it seemed like all people that I had to tell to walk the mile were people that couldn't or shouldn't.

What astonished me the most was the LARGE amount of crap the lady purchased only came up to $150! I purchased like 12 items and my total was $50. I should have checked out the bras! (just kidding).

ON another note,

What ever happened to the relaxing massages? I remember way back when massage therapists were not "therapists" and you went in to be pampered and it was relaxing. NOW it seems like everyone wants to do "deep tissue" even if you don't want it. I SPECIFICALLY checked the box soft to firm NOT Deep tissue!

I mean, I KNOW I have problem areas that need to be "worked out" but when a massage is more painful, and you are grimacing when they are massaging I am thinking to myself WHY THE HELL are you playing soft music when you are feeling like you are jabbing myself with a knife. Why not just play heavy metal or rock? I am so sick of deep tissue massages.

I am in a bad mood and need to go to bed. Working so many hours is about to kill me! :) Damn checkout line and Damn massages just send me over the edge! WHEW I feel better.